Find Me The Gay Gene

Hello All,

Find Me “The Gay Gene”

Herman Cain said that he believed being gay is a choice. I would ask him how he knows since he’s straight and if he chose to be straight. I knew I was gay since I was 7, I was never straight—I was always gay. I always loved men and for me the feeling of a man in my arms, not just any man but that one special man who I love makes me feel good inside. I have always known I was different, peculiar, odd, unusual, atypical, and uncommon, strange…I was the “nice young man” that older women would love to see their daughters with,  and yet I still thought to myself: I don’t see myself with their daughters. I always felt that I wanted so many things that are traditional such as getting married, setting down, having a family, and I felt that I should have that because I am no different. However, I had no real blueprint in front of me on how I would do this. I had no real gay role models; I had not known black gay people at all. I knew no gay people either until high school when there was a gay student named Johnathan Correa who I made fun of, and yet I knew that I was like him. I hid behind religious beliefs to throw all suspicion off of me. I threw myself into other activities to make my homosexuality go away. I did whatever I could, church activities throwing myself into the thought of ‘ex gay’ and that this was discarded. I was wrong. I have fought so hard, in so many ways to accept myself, my feelings, my body, my appearance, my personality, my typical masculinity, my atypical view of masculinity, my femininity, my heart, strength, will, desire, push for something better, my intelligence, my smile, my lips, my hands, my face, me. I fought so hard to accept myself in the face of a society that will tell me that the ‘gay lifestyle’ would claim my life instead of its opposition and pressure to conform.

It is easy for anti gay people to say that the lifestyle is destructive, but they can’t say that their words are the destructive weapons they use to push a gay kid over the edge into a place of dark courage to take their own lives, the families who disown them citing loving the sinner and hating the sin say that they don’t have nephews, cousins, parents, children, cousins, whoever they are to them.  Friends walk away from you, who were revealed to not be friends at all, and sometimes you push away from people you wanted to be friends with citing that you don’t want to be hurt by their opposition to homosexuality, which will not stop you from being gay or feeling love for another of your gender. They say it is a choice, Ask: Why would you make that choice?,  and reject that you were born this way, self aware and knowing since before puberty and say that you don’t know yourself enough to actually know even after you’ve fought against yourself. They don’t see that for you it is not a choice, I never had a choice. I knew. I knew that I was as gay as the day is long, and say that people should go to ‘ex gay’ therapy in order to deny something that is natural for them. In some cases parents placing their children in ex gay camps and most often against their will and not only do they not see it, but they refuse to see the spiritual abuse that these places perpetrate

The ‘quest for change’ is often rooted in the fact that they believe being gay is a choice. Many believe it’s genetic and say that there is a gay gene, I don’t know how to feel about that since I believe that being gay is a reality of life and whether or not anyone finds a ‘gay gene’ it will not convince those who say that being gay is a choice that it is in fact genetic. I don’t care if there is or isn’t one, for it will not change the fact that many young gays are coming out and refusing to live a lie whereas many older gays in the 60s weren’t able to come out and live openly because they would never have kids, a family, what is supposed to be an ordinary civic life. Now, they have to worry about the next law that will be passed by their state and deprive them of what ordinary life they’ve carved out for themselves. They have to wonder about what’s next even though in passing as stories develop. I often see a lot of the news where the GOP and Religious Right puts their rights on the ballot.

I wonder what would happen if a gay gene were proven to exist. I know that this would not detract our enemies from asserting that being gay is a choice and calling us the worst threat to the United States since the Cold War, abominations even though they benefit from our tax dollars, our jobs, our livelihoods. I don’t care if they find one, to be honest I don’t believe one exists it’s just a fact of life like having sex, your first kiss, prom, or learning to drive. I don’t care either way, because as long as we debate about finding one, even if there is one they will not stop railing against the rights of other Americans. Neither will they stop doing what they wish to do by ostracizing us and equating our relationships to just sex when they don’t do the same to heterosexuals. It wouldn’t stop their bullshit of loving people as they disown and cast out people they claimed they loved but won’t tolerate ‘the lifestyle’ those who won’t even acknowledge their partners even in passing and when they do, as an afterthought. I have nothing but contempt for Herman Cain and those who feel that they need to prove that being gay is not a choice.

I would tell them: Find the straight gene first 

Laters yall!