The Booing of Stephen Snyder-Hill

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http://www.latimes.com/local/la-me-hidden-man-20131229-dto,0,4485047.htmlstory#ixzz2ov0kNEhU”

I recently found an article from a facebook friend of mine Steven Hill now Snyder-Hill, and I’m brought back to a day in September 2011 when the GOP were holding a primary debate. Who would be the triumphant candidate? , Herman “Godfather” Cain, Rick “Frothy” Santorum, Michelle “Batshit” Bachmann, Newt Swingrich or the Ron Paul EVOLution? Steven Hill, on duty in Iraq close to the time DADT repeal would be fully done had  a question that needed asking, one that could determine whether or not Steven Hill would have a future in the US Army What happened next was shocking.

The Question: In 2010, when I was deployed to Iraq, I had to lie about who I was because I'm a gay soldier and I didn't want to lose my job. My question is, under one of your presidencies, do you intend to circumvent the progress that's been made for gay and lesbian soldiers in the military?

What happened next was a round of boos and Former U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum gets the question, and says, "Sexual activity has no place in the military." Allowing gays to serve openly "undermines" America's ability to defend itself. The crowd applauds enthusiastically.

The next day his face was everywhere all over the media. The fact that someone would boo a gay soldier who fought FOR THEIR RIGHT TO BOO HIM! Solely on the basis that he’s gay.

The article actually chronicles his life leading up to the fateful question

Some quotes from the article about military life pre-repeal:

From the article “Sometimes mortar rounds hit the base while they are Skyping. Hill gropes for his flak vest, helmet and M-16, and scrambles to the concrete bunker, leaving Snyder blinking in panic at a blank screen”

Unlike many service members who awaken to voicemail messages Steven had to listen to them on a headset.

“He is home on leave in May 2011 when they decide to get married. Ohio will not perform the ceremony, so they drive to Washington, D.C. He returns to war wearing a titanium wedding band.

Jessica, he says. For his screensaver, he uses the image of a lesbian friend”

He recounts his husband seeing him off once again for deployment “At the airport, they watched soldiers embracing their families, saying goodbye. Hill and Snyder were hunkered under an escalator. "Like little rats, hiding," Hill would say.

The last part of the article says this ” Some soldiers told him they were surprised, some said they kind of suspected, and some confessed to leading their own secret lives. The initial awkwardness has been replaced, mostly, by a sense of exhilaration and possibility. He knows there must be soldiers mocking him, but the dynamic has shifted, and now they are the ones hiding.

Before boarding the plane, (to go home) he empties his plywood hiding place and strips away all the duct tape. The light filters through the cracks into the empty shell

So of course we knew there were gay people in the military and all this fuss was just about knowing whether they were there or not. Canada, Great Britain, Israel, most European nations already have openly gay people in their militaries and it has ENHANCED unit cohesion not dampened it. But of course, opponents of repeal won’t be swayed by facts.

So, a little bit of time goes by between the question that started it all and June/July of 2012 when I see him in the news for another reason, it’s related to his marriage. Steve and Joshua want to get their names changed. Steve Hill and Joshua Snyder want to hyphenate their names to Snyder-Hill. OH doesn’t recognize their marriage and changing their names would seem akin to legal recognition of their marriage.

From the local paper:

Magistrate William Reddington asked the men if changing their names would make their lives easier, which is one of the reasons a name change might be allowed.

The men said that it would not.

“The reason that I want to change my name is because I married this man. I love this man. And I married him, and that’s my reason for doing this,” Hill said.

The couple said that after a lifetime of keeping secrets about their sexuality, they wanted to stand up and tell the truth.

“I can’t lie anymore,” Hill said. “I can’t do it. I’ve done it my whole life. You know, I fight for people’s rights, liberty, freedom, civil rights being in the military. I’ve gone to two wars. I just don’t feel like I should have to lie on an application that somebody else doesn’t have to lie on.”

Today they are legally recognized as Steven and Joshua Snyder-Hill. I don’t know how long it was since I’ve friended both of them, I remember hearing about the two and probably friending them and then I heard whispers of a repeal of their Amendment banning legal recognition of gay and lesbian couples’ marriages. That is continuing to go forward and if the question is certified, it will be on November 2014 ballot. I am sure that a lot of people will be registering people to vote for the first time in 2014 and I will be ecstatic when the results are in and marriage wins in OH.

But let me take you back to the article and what stuck out to me in it the most:

God make me straight, praying and hoping that you’d wake up and be straight. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in my dorm room, pew, outside in the evening air just praying to God that I will wake up and be straight. The thoughts of despair that society presses upon you if being straight isn’t your reality, the constant tug of war within yourself if you are gay in a conservative family expecting those who said they loved you now cursing the day you were ever born

Writing in his journal

I want so badly to one day have a family of my own with my soul mate, he wrote in his journal.

I really wonder if that's possible. I know you are out there. I know you think about me too. I am so hungry for compassion, not sex. I fall asleep every night and hug my pillows so tight pretending it's you. I don't have any idea what you look like. I don't care. How do I know what to say to you when I see you? How will I know it is you? I am so lonely waiting for you that I want to be extremely careful not to be blinded by someone pretending to be you.

There were innumerable tiny humiliations. At the Columbus fair, Hill spotted another soldier from his unit and yanked his hand from Snyder's grip. If anyone asked, they were brothers.

His fellow soldiers know him as the spirited diet guru and fitness instructor who screams at them in the gym, a 40-year-old who can run harder and lift more weight than men half his age.

Both the hidden men revealed. It’s very symbolic of the life that Steven had led as a gay man in a hostile military the degree of that which is known to him and others who’ve dealt with DADT. There have been varying degrees of such hostility

The repeal has been history for 2 years and the world has been spinning on and on. New Mexico UT, HI & IL were added this year to the marriage equality states. In fact, the number doubled this year and we’ll see some more next year. People are seeing, if they haven’t already that gay people are in their midst and wanting to marry which is in the “orderly pursuit of happiness”.  I am sure the Snyder-Hills face an uphill battle as they fight to repeal their Constitutional Amendment. We will not go away.  This is what Steven Snyder-Hill and his husband Joshua Snyder-Hill says to every American that may not care for their marriage. No matter how many elections you have, hate you spill, we’re not going away.

In fact, the article The Hidden Man was perfectly chosen. When we are coming to grips with our sexuality, or gender identity and expression when it’s different from the “default” we want to hide it best as we can. Until the pain of holding it in is too much so that it blossoms out. The fact that those Presidential Candidates didn’t do the right thing by standing by their troops by the soldiers that defend their land and Constitution made the case THAT NIGHT that neither of them were fit to be President

And let me end with some encouraging words

At a dinner speech, President Obama remarks on the Republican candidates' silence amid the boos: "You want to be Commander in Chief? You can start by standing up for the men and women who wear the uniform of the United States, even when it's not politically convenient."

On "Face the Nation," Sen. John McCain — who fought fiercely to keep "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" — says: "We should honor every man and woman who is serving in the military."

On "The Daily Show," Jon Stewart flashes an image of Hill and says: "If this guy turned into the Hulk, his arms would stay the same size. They would just turn green."

On HBO's "The Newsroom," a fictional news anchor says: "The only president on the stage last night was Stephen Hill. Godspeed, Captain Hill, and come home soon. A grateful nation is waiting to say thank you."


Until Next Time Dear Readers!