Halloween Movie Franchise: Ranked
Halloween, the controversial holiday born of All Hallows Eve and a Celtic holiday. Some say it's pagan and churches put on Hallelujah parties to get kids to go to church instead of trick or treating...borrowing pagan customs and slapping Jesus on them is a thriving business idea...I need to get in on it and Joel Osteen it up.
The main thing I love about both Halloween and Christmas...the movies. Every night through October there is a movie on at any time ready to scare your pants off and make your blood run cold. Then you grow up and Halloween is a time to be perverted with hunky cops and sexy nurse uniforms...or dress up as a Danish Cookie tin with a sewing kit in it.
As I am not too keen on Halloween Parties this year because Rona decided to kibosh it, I wanted to rank the Halloween Franchise from worst to best. So let's kick off our list shall we? Predictably, you'll guess which one kicks off our list
Halloween Resurrection (2002)
After Halloween H20 was the smash definitively ending Michael Myers, the only thing that could resurrect him is that beautiful piece of paper with Dead Presidents on it. So convoluted plot line later, Laurie is finally killed and we return to the Myers house with one note characters part of a reality show in a bid to be in with the found footage of the times. This was after the meta genre thing was on the way out
The kills are tame and clunky, and dated and in the worst way possible. Busta Rhymes went to the Sgt Huxley school of Karate watching films for his style and if you ask me, this movie literally neutered Michael Myers for years. This was the worst of the series but I have plenty more to go
Halloween The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)
You think after the disaster of a Rush Job Halloween 5 was that the Akkads would’ve taken the Aliens approach and actually taken their time with this installment. Nope, Uncle Dad, cult of Thorn, Loomis’s declining health and creepy Tommy Doyle all growed up is the short short version of the story. It also depends on what cut you watched, either the Producers or Theatrical Cut. There was a magic stones thing that immobilized him and then put the Cult of Thorn guy inside it while Michael Myers went somewhere and then Tommy Doyle beat him til he oozed Vulcan blood. You’re telling me the man that got shot 6x, blown up, both eyes shot out and still stabbed wildly at thin air, got shot to pieces, and beat up by Loomis and thrown in jail…wait…there is a SERIOUS DECLINE in the ways to kill Michael…never mind, the downgrade to lead pipe is sufficient. Whoever thought to ignore this movie in H20 should be applauded. This WOULD be the worst…until Halloween Resurrection came along
Shortest remake of the 1981 sequel I’ve ever
seen at 25 minutes (with original material following) a traumatized Laurie Strode I like even less than in the
first one and the connection between the two Myers siblings. Long story short,
Laurie acts like she’s the only one that suffered that fateful Halloween night,
never mind Annie’s boyfriend was killed in front of her and she was left on the
floor of the bathroom nearly dead. Laurie makes me want Michael to kill her and
let’s face it, Michael is unable to kill Laurie because script. If he was any
bit capable, he wouldn’t have kidnapped Laurie but actually killed her at first
chance. At least they discard the white trashiness of the first film. Yet this movie makes me feel like it was meant to end things for this timeline and it sure did. Loomis, Michael and Laurie are all dead at the end of the film and I'm more like...meh....I wanted that bit to die anyway
So, what would happen if Shameless lived in
Haddonfield…now I’m not up on the show but if anyone were to turn out a serial
killer I’d think the Gallagher family would. But let’s dissect this: IF you
have a dysfunctional family you will turn into a Michael Myers. Now, I wonder
how many people have actually done so with a family background. This movie is what you get when you take the worst kinds of people and throw Michael Myers in. I've never actually been thinking "Can Michael just KILL that guy already?" You're supposed to be AFRAID of him, yes but you're supposed to LIKE the characters thrown into the movie. This one, I only liked Danielle Harris and Brad Dourif, everyone else was cannon fodder
Halloween 5 (1989)
After Halloween 4 was a hit, they rushed this film into production and it shows. Rachel, a more assertive type of Laurie Strode character was unceremoniously axed in the First Act, neglecting to pick up threads laid down in the last film, and giving us more cannon fodder. In Part 4 he was methodic, cutting off Haddonfield from the rest of the world by knocking out its power grid, killing the entire police force and stalking Jaime while killing coincidentally all of the people Rachel knew in Haddonfield. In this one it's pretty much like Halloween II except it was a terrible entry slapped together because PROFITS.
Michael is lethal and some of the kills are actually pretty good. Where it fails is to capture the realism of the 4th, the right tone and the right Michael. This Michael seems like saying "First...Revenge...check...Joyride...check...kill a bunch of random teenagers with farm equipment...check...kill random teenager with the bupada bupada bupada...this ain't Full House" Michael is aimless and only exists to hunt Jamie in the final Act, give us kills but they're lackluster. What a way to squander the greatness that was Part 4
Halloween H20 (1998)
This is where we start to get into good films, Halloween H20 was a decent update as horror became meta and self aware in the wake of Scream. Jamie Lee Curtis reprises her role as Laurie Strode now Carrie Tate, a Dean of a California school. She broods for most of the movie, has conflicts with her son, and broods some more until she and Michael duke it out one last time. The Laurie Michael confrontation was in fact the best I'd ever seen. I loved how they made Laurie a fighter, someone who wasn't some innocent kid anymore. It was a fitting end of the Laurie/Michael storyline put forth in the first one and given motivation in Part II.
As I watched this when it first came out, I enjoyed it and really thought it was great, especially after the convoluted and dreadful Curse flick. Yet I hated how they killed off the Nurse from Part II (which is in this timeline) the jump scares and how the characters were decent but not really ones I cared about.
Minus Loomis, every other character was filler and body count padding. Loomis DID exist to chase Michael & stop him in the last act, but it was the journey and the madness of wanting to see Michael dead that made him the perfect antithesis to Michael. Iit appears that the studio felt horror fans and anyone who'd seen more than ONE Halloween movie were too dumb to know it was 20 Years later because it said it twice. Halloween H20 20 Years Later. Say it louder for the dopes in the back!
Halloween 4 (1988)
Halloween 4 was a return to form for the franchise, written in 11 days. Instead of Jaime Lee Curtis, we got Jamie Lloyd Introducing the young actress Danielle Harris. Jamie is the daughter of Laurie Strode, killed in a car accident after Part II.
Rachel is Jamie's adoptive sister and a great character in the mold of Laurie but definitely more assertive and
self-confident. She truly shines because even though she was sanctimonious about taking Jamie out for trick or treating, she embraced it with gusto--after some guilt.
Jamie really shines in her scenes and I really believe she is in danger, even though it is usually a rule to never put them in any real danger. Danielle Harris is one of very few child actors I truly enjoyed watching in a horror film (the other being Tonya Crowe in Dark Night of the Scarecrow) she truly is a little wonder in this film and her acting is top notch. I truly FEEL for this character. When she screams I truly feel she IS scared, and I'm glued to my seat and rooting for her and Rachel
The kills are mostly necessary and purposeful, like the one on the power lines knocking out the grid, the coveralls guy, the kills in the house and the militia. It really was a great update to the series while nodding back to the original as well. I do admit the nods were a bit much upon second glance, but they truly fit in the scope of the movie and what they’re trying to do. The end is probably one of the most talked about because it truly puts the argument of nature vs nurture on display AND do the best nod to the opening of the first movie
Halloween 40 (2018)
I called it Halloween 40 because of the fact
that there are three films in the franchise called Halloween so I have to
differentiate them somehow. This one is a direct sequel to the 1978 Halloween
because Myers was captured that night and placed in a mental health facility
for the intervening years. Laurie Strode returns and is a better version of the
character in H20. She actually had a better backstory that goes into family and
there is filler, it’s not too bad and doesn’t hurt the overall film too much.
The characters are decent, Alyson’s friends are not that bad compared to many
other movie teenagers I’ve had the displeasure of watching. Michael is a cold
blooded killer, at his most ruthless, unpredictable, a kid in a candy store
The characters are likable and the friends aren't too bad. Cameron, Alison's boyfriend was a plot device to get her away from the party and into Michael's arms. After she's kidnapped by Dr Sartane he reveals he helped engineer the bus crash that allowed Michael to escape. That was a bunch of hooey because Michael should be a force of nature ON HIS OWN, not needing some Dr to help him. Alison is okay as a character but I felt like things more happened TO her than she made choices. I hope she is more realized in the upcoming sequels
2018’s Halloween is a great entry into the franchise and though Dr Sartane is a missed opportunity I feel it is in fact a competent update and direct sequel to the original movie. I eagerly await the next two films and I hope they capture the greatness of this one
Halloween 2 (1981)
Bigger: Budget, cast, and body count. This sequel filmed 3 years later actually takes
place the same night after Laurie is taken to the hospital where Michael stalks
her there too. Laurie doesn’t do much than lay in bed and crawl at one point.
The razor blade myth makes an appearance late in the film never to be seen
again, and it’s revealed that Laurie is Michael’s sister giving us the
motivation for The Shape which Carpenter says he regrets. This was thread
through the needle for every other movie, then again it both explains and
doesn’t explain why Michael not only goes after his family but anybody else he
comes across
While it is the best sequel, it’s also missing a lot of what made the first one
so great. It was the atmosphere and how we knew he could pop out at any time.
It was like a staircase and all Myers had to do was stab his way through the
runtime…and wait for a guy to slip on a puddle of blood and kill himself…that
was…disturbing. The slasher craze was in high gear and the studio wanted Halloween to become its imitators. The biggest missed opportunity is what is interesting about Rob Zombie's Part II, it actually takes place some time after so we can see how they adjusted to the events of that fateful night. This was simply a continuation of the first film, and it's seamless...but the changes between the two are simply too much to ignore. In fact, the skull in the pumpkin showed that it was going to have a higher body count than the first one
This was the movie that wasn’t the first
slasher film but definitely popularized it. Even though Friday the 13th
and Nightmare On Elm St would be long lasting franchises alongside Halloween
and a staple throughout the 80s, this one was the breakout hit that seemed to
legitimize horror as a respectable medium. Horror movies were not well regarded
when this movie came out, and spawned other cheap imitators after other notable
slashers started taking hold. This was the original. Now, there is one entry
that will cause me some trouble but I’m going to reveal my number 1
Halloween III: Season of The Witch (1982)
Yes, it has no Michael Myers, and this was the
biggest bone of contention with fans. This was an attempt by John Carpenter and
Debra Hill to take things in a different direction and becoming anthology
series. While anthology series are great, it was already established that Michael
Myers and Laurie Strode were the main characters of the Halloween films. They
were convinced they killed off Michael Myers and Laurie Strode so there would
be no way to actually continue the franchise. So what have they got to lose?
A good script, excellent production value, a feeling of dread and ever building
climax it truly does a great job of establishing itself on its own that really
makes me wish this movie had been given its critiques of its own. It does have
problems but absent he lack of Michael Myers, it’s not really as bad as it was
made out to be. So, lambaste me in the comments all you want but this one was
gutsy and a great movie on its own regardless.
So, Exeunt until next time!
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