Re: Chaz Bono

This is a conversation I had after replying to the absurdity of the 'controversy' of Chaz Bono being on Dancing With The Stars. I am sure I can ask any kid who may watch Dancing With The Stars--or hates the show--about it and they'll probably say that they like the dancing. I really don't care much about the 'life' of the person who is dancing unless they've done something like say...beat their wives and have been in the news for violent crimes foreverand a day. Yeah, I guess we can have some people like that on the show but not Chaz...does this make any sense to you? This is just like the argument that seeing gay couples is going to make someone gay. Anyone see the similarities? So when Christina suggested that I post this on Fb and I think it is a great firsthand look at the daily realities that trans individuals go through. (I almost want to send this to Senator Gallavan's Wall...)
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Hey Terry, Just a thought...if you would like to post this on the Facebook Group, it's OK with me...maybe it would help some folks understand a little better about some of the struggles trans people face from within and externally. Anyway, if you want to, feel free OK?!
See you later
Christina x
Begin forwarded message:

Subject: Re: [SpectrumWNY] ABC receives complaints about Chaz Bono's addition to 'DWTS'

Yes I know...and believe me I hear you loud and clear. This can be a daily battle for me.

But you know that I have come to the conclusion in all honestly, that I really don't think that most people even have the ability to be able to comprehend "even for a single moment" how it might feel to live inside a body that doesn't reflect the inner you at all, and how much stress and turmoil that can cause to transsexual people.

I'm going to give you a little insight into my mind for a moment, in case it helps:

Nobody sees and hears you for who you really are, all they see is what's on the outside and how that body is able to communicate. Some people trivialize this notion by saying something like, "many people would like to look different, to be more beautiful, change the shape of their nose, etc..., we all have accept to live with the body that we were born with" and those that say such a thing definitely have such small closed minds that they simply will never get it. Not that I would really wish they might be born the same way next time around, or anything, but sometimes it is something I have thought of...you know, at least then they would understand. But the reality is that I wouldn't really wish being born trans on my worst enemy. There is not a transsexual person alive that would not truly wish to have been born cisgendered, and anyone who says differently is really reflecting an attitude and ways they have developed to cope and accept who and what they are. There is not a day that passes by that I wouldn't give my right arm to have been born and have grown up normally inside a girls body. This is the route and cause of a lot of deep emotional turmoil for many trans people, so you can just try to imagine the amount of hurt it causes when people make fun of us for attempting to change our appearance to better reflect how we feel as people inside. You have to toughen up and create a hard shell around you, but underneath that hard exterior veneer, you still die a little inside with each pointed finger, snigger, stare, and rude insulting comment.

Many people seem to think it's a sexual deviation thing, something some people choose do for kicks, but for a trans person nothing could actually be further from the truth. The worst thing is that many trans people, through desperation, turn to sex work as a means to live, and that of course then fuels the minds of those that can only see being trans as a chosen sexual lifestyle. but in realty it is about as far from the truth as it's possible to be.

Many people not even have an inkling as to what it might be like just turn to ridicule, call us mentally ill, an abomination against god, etc. etc.... People are very much emotionally tied to their gender and sexuality. After-all it is where a lot of people harbor their most self feared insecurities.

Sad to say, but many men in particular, are brought up to be virtually emotionally dead inside...being unable to truly demonstrate affection, sadness, love, fear, because they were never allowed to show those things while growing up because, "that's not how men behave". So as adults, anything that touches on their own raw nerve of emotional repression, is going to evoke an angry reaction from such people. It is their way of dealing with their own internal conflict about being unable to express their natural feelings because of being trained not to do so all their lives.

Anything that is different to these indoctrinated predefined ideas of normality, needs to be considered abnormal, wrong, and has to be eradicated.

Another thing that you learn quickly is that people tend to express one thing but feel entirely different. They will act on their intuition, believes, values, biases  and feelings. I am like this myself. Some things might make me feel uneasy but I do not want to express this in order not to hurt someone or simply to avoid conflict. But the conflict is there. Under the surface. Unsolved. Most people are like this. One cannot do much about it other than being aware.

This notion is very common within the LGBT community towards the T group. People want to show support and have an understanding but in reality they don't understand it any more than many people in general society, and for the most part they do nothing to educate themselves about trans issues either. There are a few exceptions of course as in all things.

The best I think we can hope for is tolerance and equal protection under the law. Acceptance and stuff is not something you can really force upon people.

Hopefully one day, when the realization finally comes that there really is not anything to fear afterall, acceptance will follow, but I'll not be holding my breath waiting for that day.

See you later my friend,

Christina x

On Sep 2, 2011, at 9:27 PM, Terry Purdue wrote:

I always looked at myself as male...I liked being male...and all of a sudden, I saw Chaz Bono and said: I want to be female! I want to have the hormone shots, the hassle of changing my name, my family to look at me not as their daughter, or sister but as the guy I always was until then....Yeah, one look at Chaz and that stirred it up in me!

Really? Serously?!!!

Some of the people just say: I don't have anything against him/her--HE IS A MAN! All I gotta say is simply: They need to understand that this great big world isn't carbon copies of their homes--it makes me flippin sick!
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Subject: [SpectrumWNY] ABC receives complaints about Chaz Bono's addition to 'DWTS' 
http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=666994&gt1=28103 

http://abc.go.com/shows/dancing-with-the-stars/cast-announcement#abc-comment

Angry? Darn right I'm angry!

Christina x