It Gets Better
Today I will talk about the It Gets Better Project, which
was formed in 2010-11 when Dan Savage and his husband Terry talked about their
experiences. Terry the more flamboyant of the two had feces on his car, tormented
daily because he presents more on the effeminate side of the spectrum and Dan
also faced his torment inside and out over his sexuality, forming who he is
today. He has a Savage Love Cast that’s pretty awesome and I urge you to check
it out.
5 teens took their lives over bullying due to being gay or perceived as gay, and of them Billy Lucas of IN was the first I heard about Asher Brown of TX, Raymond Chase and Tyler Clementi of NJ were of a handful I’d heard about alongside Zachary Harris of Norman, OK after hearing testimony for and against gay pride month being recognized by the city. The fact is: These teens thought that it was better to be dead than gay, a sentiment echoed by many church leaders that has more poison than the sting of a scorpion.
But it DOES get better. Take it from a guy who was fat and nerdy with glasses, who retreated to his room to read Star Trek novels because I only wanted to be a hero, to have a great adventure outside of myself, to fight the Dominion War and be Captain Benjamin Sisko of DS9, Picard of Enterprise D—E looked better, and John Calhoun of Excalibur. I found that while high school was crazy and everyone was thinking about prom and getting ready for it, I was dreading it because I was like: Well, would I be able to take a guy to the prom, will one go with me? What would happen if I came out? Would I lose my friends? Ok, let me make fun of gay guys so no one suspects me of being gay! People told me I have homosexual tendencies, I wonder what they are so I can cover myself.
After high school I was still socially inept but I forgot about all those popular kids who were jerks why? Because they were living the high life then and that’s all they’d ever had. They’d still be stuck in that fantasy land while I’m over here fighting for the life I want, to be married in my state of NY and be a part of urging a state Senator to vote yes for my right to marry, going to people and urging them to write a handwritten letter to the Governor and NYS Senate, being recognized and looked at with high esteem for being able to cite case law and even correct one said NYS Senator and prove yes I’m black and intelligent, next we’ll have IPoDs…anyway, it got so much better because I was able to be authentic to myself. I had a relatively easy coming out and no matter how easy it is or not, the psychological torture you face from peers will leave its scars, but that meant you are stronger than that which came against you. Those popular jocks you had a crush on will be miserable with 10 kids and wish they were in high school their whole lives while holding down a job where they’re the lowest rung on the pecking order. Nothing prepares them for that.
You are stronger! You made it through and you are growing into the person you are, the real you, the one that you hid away from everyone until it hurt too much to keep it in so you had to bloom. You survived your winter, welcome to spring where the colors are lush and the Phoenix is rising from its ashes. That’s you. You’re getting stronger, you’re getting better, and you’re being you!
5 teens took their lives over bullying due to being gay or perceived as gay, and of them Billy Lucas of IN was the first I heard about Asher Brown of TX, Raymond Chase and Tyler Clementi of NJ were of a handful I’d heard about alongside Zachary Harris of Norman, OK after hearing testimony for and against gay pride month being recognized by the city. The fact is: These teens thought that it was better to be dead than gay, a sentiment echoed by many church leaders that has more poison than the sting of a scorpion.
But it DOES get better. Take it from a guy who was fat and nerdy with glasses, who retreated to his room to read Star Trek novels because I only wanted to be a hero, to have a great adventure outside of myself, to fight the Dominion War and be Captain Benjamin Sisko of DS9, Picard of Enterprise D—E looked better, and John Calhoun of Excalibur. I found that while high school was crazy and everyone was thinking about prom and getting ready for it, I was dreading it because I was like: Well, would I be able to take a guy to the prom, will one go with me? What would happen if I came out? Would I lose my friends? Ok, let me make fun of gay guys so no one suspects me of being gay! People told me I have homosexual tendencies, I wonder what they are so I can cover myself.
After high school I was still socially inept but I forgot about all those popular kids who were jerks why? Because they were living the high life then and that’s all they’d ever had. They’d still be stuck in that fantasy land while I’m over here fighting for the life I want, to be married in my state of NY and be a part of urging a state Senator to vote yes for my right to marry, going to people and urging them to write a handwritten letter to the Governor and NYS Senate, being recognized and looked at with high esteem for being able to cite case law and even correct one said NYS Senator and prove yes I’m black and intelligent, next we’ll have IPoDs…anyway, it got so much better because I was able to be authentic to myself. I had a relatively easy coming out and no matter how easy it is or not, the psychological torture you face from peers will leave its scars, but that meant you are stronger than that which came against you. Those popular jocks you had a crush on will be miserable with 10 kids and wish they were in high school their whole lives while holding down a job where they’re the lowest rung on the pecking order. Nothing prepares them for that.
You are stronger! You made it through and you are growing into the person you are, the real you, the one that you hid away from everyone until it hurt too much to keep it in so you had to bloom. You survived your winter, welcome to spring where the colors are lush and the Phoenix is rising from its ashes. That’s you. You’re getting stronger, you’re getting better, and you’re being you!
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Written Blog: http://thespencerhamiltonblog.blogspot.com
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