10 Reasons Christian Movies Are Terrible

Upfront, not all Christian movies are terrible. But let us face it, production companies like Pure Flix and big budget White Evangelical films are made with two things in mind: Portray Christians as victims, even as they are the majority religion in the United States; and to paint Non Christians as one dimensional and evil. So, I'm going to make my case as to why most Christian films are terrible

1. False dichotomy/Flat Characters

Everyone who is Christian is good

Josh, Mina and Ayisha in God's Not Dead (also referred to as GND throughout this post) are good because they're Christians. Mina visits her Mom everyday in a nursing home but why does she question why her Mom has chicken everyday when she KNOWS it makes her happy. Exposition of course and the nurse holds the tender moment a little too long to the point where it gets a little creepy

Ayisha is good because she's an undercover Christian and Josh because he's defending the faith. Those are clear GOOD characteristics, as if atheists don't have Moms they see in a nursing home

On the Flip Side

Radisson is supposed to mistreat Mina and berate her because Atheist...actually he's not even an atheist when the rinse washes clean. Amy is a liberal vegan animal lover so she can't be Christian or happy and that's why she gets the cancer. Dean Cain dismisses Amy when she tells him she has cancer rather than being sympathetic. Yes, because atheists don't know about cancer and have to be cold and unfeeling. I mean, Christians can't be cold and unfeeling it's...uh...unimaginable

Sometimes I don't see how the Christian characters are supposed to grow or am I supposed to care about them? In the first two GND films, neither of the protagonists grow, they're just affirmed somehow but there was never any real doubt or danger. It's easy to be brave when you're fighting an imaginary enemy

2. Christians are Victims 

In Voiceless, Jesse is mad that a Women's Health clinic is right across from his church, and somehow it's oppressing him because he doesn't like abortion . In GND 2, Pastor David has to turn over sermons and is arrested for not doing so. Now, Houston churches got involved in overturning the Houston Equal Rights Ordinance and their sermons were subpoenad. It was later dropped under pressure but GND 2 used it as a battering ram without the right context.

Also in God's Not Dead 2 a Grace Wesley is shown as being persecuted for saying "The writer of the Gospel of Matthew records Jesus as saying "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven" which indicates a commitment to nonviolence Dr King confirmed the link deriving his inspiration from the Scripture saying Christ furnished the spirit of motivation while Gandhi furnished the method" 

It is for this she gets targeted by the ACLU. Now in real life where Fox NEWS and the ACLJ, and Christian legal organizations exist THIS WOULD NOT HAPPEN. This is a fantasy and not a very good one

3. Uncritical Lens 

Saving Christmas was a terrible movie made by Liberty University and Kirk Cameron. When the movie predictably panned by critics and audiences Cameron went to Facebook and told his fans to upvote the film. He made his case saying "Because we decide what we want our families to watch" I highly doubt that people are forcing Kirk and his family to watch media they disagree with

You are supposed to just like Christian films if you are a real Christian, but when we look at these films as an art form, as a film, something that is meant to be critiqued, it has nothing to do with Jesus. It has everything to do with it being a an unrealistic story. A story pushes an A to B narrative forgetting that there are nuances along the way.

4. They're Propaganda 

Propaganda works as follows: Start out with something true, edit enough to where it proves your point but leave out the full story. In Torchbearer with Willie Robertson, Robertson says that the French Revolution was a religious revolution as opposed to a violent political one. He argues that the church was targeted because all the leaders were atheists. They were not atheists but this doesn't serve the narrative. Busting this myth: With anyone having a basic knowledge of the French Revolution; the Church was part of the 2nd Estate that didn't pay taxes while people were starving. And we wonder why they ditched the 7 day calendar in favor of a 10 day one and sacked the churches!

5. "Miracles" 

I believe in miracles but let's dissect one from War Room. Tony is a Pharmaceutical rep and a garbage person married to Elizabeth, a Real Estate Agent. So he was stealing from his company, selling the extra pharmaceuticals earning an extra $20k. Coleman wants two days to think about Tony's case while Bill Nye wants to alert the authorities which is what they're SUPPOSED to do. So, Coleman doesn't prosecute and it sends the message the Christians can get away with crimes....Elizabeth then calls it Grace

In Left Behind 3, Lou Gosset Jr becomes a Christian and is suddenly invisible to the guards right before he blows up the Antichrist Nicolae Carpathia, who predictably returns from it unscathed.

6 Don't Need No Outside Help

Back to War Room and even Fireproof, which contradicts each other. See, the two have a book tie in with the movie. So, it seems to me and I haven't seen these materials but the general consensus seems to be that the only thing you need is Faith in God to turn around your problems in life. Faith is important yes, but I believe that if you were able to resolve something by yourself, you wouldn't be facing it consistently. That is part of why we have Doctors, lawyers, Counselors, experts in their fields of study. Now, there is a blatant anti intellectualism within many religious communities but why do we need a movie and a book tie in to save your marriage when faith in God is supposed to be all sufficient?

7. Badly Written

Oftentimes characters are one dimensional, Josh from GND is a Christian, Amy is a non Christian, Clara from War Room is a laugh track character and Caleb Holt from Fireproof is an angry man

But let's look at how they depict relationships

God's Not Dead, Josh breaks up with his girlfriend because she's wondering why she's at her 3rd choice school and she's presented as an obstacle although when it comes down to it she's not played very sympathetic. In War Room, Elizabeth and Tony fight all the time and Tony doesn't care if she lives or dies until he becomes a Christian--but a licensed counselor isn't even mentioned because Jesus

Radisson and Mina: Radisson is obviously abusive not because Radisson is an abusive ASS but because he's an atheist. Now, how many married couples go to church on Sunday and the Deacon is beating his wife on Monday before he had his morning coffee? It shows it's a sermon aimed on the outside with no capability for self reflection

8 They're not funny 

Camp New: Act One, the characters laugh a lot but there is no real humor. Like in the beginning of the movie Penny, Nattie, and Isaiah are laughing. The characters laugh at everything but it's not funny. Even the comedy in the scene where Penny tries to wake up Emmy is just...awkward. After Emmy "wakes up" there isn't any "Why did you do that?, I was sleeping" and it goes on as if she was never sleep at all. War Room has stinky feet jokes, and the chips in the closet bit, and the "It's not easy being a woman" scene...oh goodness, it's Joe Biden level cringe...in the name of clean comedy. Fireproof's hot sauce chugging scene is supposed to be funny when we find out Caleb drank tomato juice and the oaf character reacts like 10 hoirs later. See, The Cosby Show and Family Matters were able to pull off clean comedy well and they weren't Christian media

9 Too Predictable

Christian filmmakers say they serve a God that is creative, so why aren't their films? Why are the same stereotypes evident in these films? Now, a lot of religious films aimed at black audiences have been made but on the whole they are stories, not just sermons with a partly made story in order to justify its existence

So here is how the Christian film is: Act 1 Establishment of movieverse and the heroes and villains. Villains are over the top with God hatred or an unappreciative spouse that's more of a cartoon or Disney villain than a real person

Act 2 We reveal the hero and the villain and sometimes we have a few other subplots because we have to pad the runtime. If you're in a Kendrick brothers film you're going to be at the gym while a character asserts his Christianity and gives sage advice only black men or an older person or Christian can give

Act 3 Turning point occurs late in Act 2 the main character will renew their Christianity or something will  happen that makes someone face Christianity again and resolve everything in a nice neat bow

End...or if you're in a Kendrick Brothers film, it's not over until you've reached the full 120 minutes, even if you have to spend 5 whole minutes at a jump rope competition

10 Uniquely American

These films tend to carry a Uniquely American flavor to them because they conflate many times patriotism with faith. Many of these films will be about freedom of religion, not found in the Bible or freedom of speech which is not found in the Bible. The Bible demands you worship its God and also demands you guard yourself against unclean talk. Freedom of religion and speech are found in the CONSTITUTION, which is interesting to me. Conservative Christians want to be given all kinds of rights but the people they don't want gays to have the same protections, nor women, nor any other group that differs ideologically from them.

If you don't know where these films are made just listen out for the word Freedom and you'll know they're set in the US. It's not about faith in many of these films, but about the freedom to be a Christian regardless of others' beliefs and values


Do you Agree/Dissent with the list? What are some reasons you think Christian movies are terrible? 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Parker v. Hurley Prental Rights Violation or Elaborate Setup? I'll Explain

Conservative Family Values: All Fantasy, No Facts A Few Reasons

The Comments NOM Blog Is Likely To Take Down--or Not Approve