TrainwRex Review: Camp New Humble Pie (2017)

So, I did a Two Page Review for New (2014) which I realized also had another title of Camp New: Act One (2014) I think they had to retitle it so it would be easier to find online. Act One had its problems but I enjoyed it giving it about 4/5 stars. I expected this follow up to be better, but it's on the TrainwRex list for quite a few reasons. Chief among them is being all over the place and me not caring about the characters' names as only Penny and Judah return from Act One



Uptight Miss Mo







Penny the narrator



Narcissus



Roomie


Undercover Lesbian Couple
(I think they're actually sisters but I made that joke and I'm sticking by it)



Random kids that are likely the kids of the producers



Judah returns to fulfill his contractual obligations...somebody get him to the groomers or AA!



Who wrote this? Nicole Mauck AND Kim Robinson?! And a third I had no idea who the hell it is



So this is an interview flick, all of it is in flashback style. Miss Mo and Penelope have a conversation with cymbals, and Penny sprays the ever loving life out of the cabin leaving our Undercover Lesbians in a coughing fit...let's face it nothing is even spraying so how the heck did that cabin get so smoky? Unless it's a filter? They didn't even get sprayed in the eye so shut up

So anyway, there are a few people coming to the Cabins and Miss Mo makes Kinsey sleep on the floor because reasons.



Penny goes over some nonsensical rules geared toward keeping the focus on fun while we're introduced to Narcissus,














Opening ceremony and a camp questionnaire that was to be all about love and clinging cymbals. Penny interrupts some of the "movie" quoting Scripture and the long and short of this so called movie is about love and showing it to one another.



Narcissus tries to find cookies or something, whipped cream is missing and cough lights are a thing now. Unless you're in Narcissus's cabin those lights still clap ones. Narcissus doesn't want to get pranked so he wears boots, gloves and face covering to bed




Narcissus wakes up to blue hair and thinking Roomie did it because he noted Narcissus's hair was a vulnerable spot,  they both lace up right before the morning meeting and ends up intruding on said meeting running around. Roomie later assures Narcissus he didn't prank him because he knows it would be too easy to return the favor






















Miss Mo and Penny have an argument on the end of camp celebration and Miss Mo's pottery goes missing so she recruits the Undercover Lesbians to interrogate everyone with Nerf guns.













Penny: Extravaganza Mo: Bonanza, aaand they end up chasing eachother when they should be hitting a pinata to settle the argument














Narcissus challenges Penny to a competition, the loser gets a pie to the face. Penny accepts and selects Roomie as his trainer while Penny naturally goes with Judah. Roomie and Judah make a deal. Roomie will get an accurate training notes to Judah if Judah can make Narcissus's mirror disappear. I guess I missed this before because I wasn't searching for screenshots yet


 

The day of the competition, the athletes have a special kind of obstacle course




And the winner is!!!!!!



Now for the losing party to give up some dignity!



EPILOGUE

I just wonder this: Why does everything have to have a Christian counterpart in order to be good? I mean, in America there is some Christian nihilism going on that's just frankly stupid. Something doesn't have to explicitly mention Jesus for it to be good. I mentioned The Cosby Show and Family Matters once as a way to do clean comedy without explicitly Jesusing it all to show that Christians can watch it guilt free?  I mean, the comedy here isn't even funny, the story is just showing a bunch of Christians being jerks, which I will say is better than the sanitized GND versions of Christians but I've been to a Christian camp before and it was NOT anything like this. For example, there were people over 30 there and like the last movie I wonder: Where are the adults?

My rating for this film

File:Star rating 1 of 5.png - Wikimedia Commons

Going from Camp New Act One to THIS? I'm reminded of Hamlet confronting his mother

So, this has been a TrainwRex review of Camp New Humble Pie

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