Charismata Reviews: Princess Cut (2015)

Princess Cut is a cringey 2015 film that seems to have everyone in boxes. Men are in bigger boxes than women, the women are just Stepford Wives and the men are those hard working country folk with small town--read conservative--values. The reason that I am so conflicted about this film is because it does have principles I like, but the way it is executed is just...awful! Let's hurry up and cut this diamond so Grace can put it on her finger already





Cast

Princess Grace

Mom


Straight Pete Buttigieg


Forgettable Brother, son of straight Pete Buttigieg

Drew 

Dr Clint



Jared "No means nothing"



We first meet Grace in the jewelry store, and  meets Jared, he'll be important later.

How much is that ring? 12k, that Princess Cut is gonna cost you some bank!

Tessa, her friend is like come on, hurry up! Why did she need to get Grace? For some exposition! They took their own cars but she's rushing Grace to get out of there? Here it is: Stewart has something to tell me! He's going to pick me up...oh never mind he called me and said to meet him there. Hi Stewart what are all these people doing here on our date? I thought you had something to tell me. I do honey, I'm telling you that I'm engaged to THIS WOMAN!



Yeah that really sucks and of course, you've been long distance for 15 months and my question is: Why didn't anyone say anything when you were sitting next to her and why didn't anyone ask who she was?

Now that she's home confiding in her parents she plays the Game of Life and this kid is the most self aware he's says "All you talk about is getting married, I don't want to get married" I know a few people that don't want to get married. Instead of handling the objection openly and honestly because you don't need to be married or in a relationship to have value, Straight Pete Buttigieg simply says "You'll feel differently in some years" Well, that boy's going to have a conflict when he's facing down the business end of a family demanding he get married even when it's against the couples' wishes 

Straight Pete Buttigieg misquotes Jeremiah 29:6 about giving daughters in marriage. In context, it's about bolstering the population while in exile. Little brother takes out an ad saying "Sister for sale and she makes great mac and cheese" which leads to a montage of these guys. Most of them came for the Macaroni and Cheese



For the first time this review, Straight Pete Buttigieg's face and my face have the same general expression on it. I'm pretty sure that most of them were church volunteers or the writers' producers' folks involved male family members



Grace meets Jared, now a barista at a coffee shop and says "Call Me Maybe"

The two go out on a few dates but he disregards her boundaries. Red Flag! Not cool bro! She feels wanted but she doesn't want to compromise her values. He kisses her and she falls to pieces after her brother gets hit by a car offscreen. She thinks it happened because she sinned and let's be frank it's not as big a deal as she makes it out to be. He forced a kiss on her and it's traumatic because what would he have done if she hadn't stopped it there?

Tessa tells her to go to Therapist, who ends up suggesting that Grace break her boundaries down. When she said that Jared always wants to get physical the Therapist completely ignores the fact that this makes her uncomfortable--sounds like a man wrote this thing--and like a man, she doesn't ask Grace if she's told Jared not to--she did--and why doesn't she leave him if he just looks at her as a piece of tail?



Therapist then says "You need to facilitate the breaking down of boundaries and try a starter marriage" Grace spills this to her parents and Dad gives her some soybeans that reveal that she needs to have a firm foundation to build love on. She is also too old to be talking about what her parents want out of her dating life

The family goes to meet their new neighbor Dr Clint in the meantime since he bought the old Bates farm.

Earlier in the movie Straight Pete Buttigieg said he needed to get a good harvest to get the mortgage paid and this Nigel Livingood comes up to him ready to buy the farm for a generous price. This could've been a cool storyline but they just toss this in the trashbin because  getting a dowry for the daughter is of the utmost importance

After all the madness with men, Grace is gardening like a good ole evangelical country wife when she gets a text from Tessa. Tessa's met a cutie at the coffeeshop, Dr Clint and calls dibs on him even though they rarely spoke a word to eachother. This is like flipped incel stuff. Doc volunteers to help with the soybean harvest and later fixes the, I'll just all it the harvester. At one point, he asks Grace's Father permission to court her . They say yes. Now, the biggest problem I have with this is simple: What if Grace said no? I think that she would've been the person to ask first right? She also made it clear that she would have to have her parents' blessing so I guess it's a given that a yes from parents would elicit a yes from Grace

One night Tessa stops by to find out that Grace and Clint have been hanging around eachother but Grace didn't know that Tessa liked Clint and issues an ultimatum: Clint or me and leaves in a huff. At the Harvest Festival the two make up and continue their friendship. Grace apologizes though there is really nothing to apologize for

Tessa, Grace's best friend--also underdeveloped



Meanwhile, Brooke, an ex of Dr Clint's we catch a glimpse of in an earlier scene of the film. Brooke tracks him down to East End with the hopes of getting him back as they used to date. When she arrives in town, The Andersons take her in and invite her to the house. The writer makes it clear that if you live in the City you only care about money and looks and apparently have never heard of a Harvest Festival. I mean, this is definitely a person that thinks country living is superior to City Living because Big Liberal.



The day of the Harvest Festival Brooke meets Jared, they talk and Brooke tells Grace Straight Pete Buttigieg wants to meet her in the barn. Clint sees Straight Pete Buttigieg and realizes it's a ruse and Jared is in the barn with Grace. Clint rushes to the barn followed by Brooke, confront Jared and fights him. Straight Pete Buttigieg comes in and breaks it up kicking out both Jared and Brooke. Jared taunts Grace with the classic narcissistic "You'll be back" No she won't and she'd be a fool to want to come back after that

Clint goes back to his home and digs up that thing he buried, or covered dirt over in the beginning. Our conclusion brings us to a family weekend getaway. Clint shows up and oh what's this? Predictably, he asks Grace to marry him and the family celebrates!

 

A few years later they have a daughter and....the End!


THOUGHTS EPILOGUE

Liked

Principles of a relationship: Too many people want to play around, like freedom and I'd rather see someone be honest with themselves about what they expect in a relationship



Drew. I actually liked his character, he was actually funny.



Message: For someone that wants to date according to biblical principles, it's a good message. I wish I could be kinder to this film about the way it deals with its message but I won't be

DISLIKES

Female characters were secondary even though Grace is the main character. Mom is doing the stereotypical Mom thing and doesn't even advise her daughter on how to deal with things that it seems like a Mom would normally be sought out for

Grace, her singular focus on getting married and having a husband made me hurl. I think it made me so crazy because that's how I used to be some years ago

City Negativity: In lots of these films, they take place in the country as a way to go back to a "simpler way of life" aka superior to the Big City and its liberal bastions.

We see this in Brooke and her characterization as manipulative and materialistic. She is only in the country setting because she is working to attain Clint. She is more than just the antagonist threatening the relationship Grace and Clint has, she is a representation of what you move to the country to get away FROM! I mean, there are NO manipulative or materialistic people in the country!











The Therapist: Other than the Dad and the dynamic between Father/Daughter this one grates on me the most. This is what some Christian homeschooled kid thinks therapists are like. She was awful and I want to slap this writer and his fictional therapist with an ethics complaint



The End: It is heavily implied that she will not continue school and as I see a child in the picture it must be some years that have passed. I would have loved to see her have a career and children



While the principles are solid I just can't like the way it was executed. Cringy Father/Daughter relationship, one dimensional women characters and humor that's not even funny or even real, therapist that should have her license revoked and caricatures of City Folks....I have to give this a 1 and a half  Princess Cut Diamonds out of 5