How Coming Out Made Me A Better Man

Welcome to the Blog Everyone!

So…I was on Youtube yesterday watching some RavenEntertainmenttv (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGCrmVQk-3M) and he talked about a sort of before and after with coming out as a focal point and I decided to kind of say my peace on it. Coming out is a real revolutionary thing for yourself mainly because you have to come out to yourself first and get familiar with what that means for the world you’re living in and I don’t mean Earth but your corner of it. My Universe before coming out was filled with inner turmoil pulling from society, religion and myself.

I remember a few times in school people asked If I were a boy or girl, once I tried to cut green sweatpants into shorts and because I’m tall it looked like Capris and I was pretty androgynous back then because I had a hat on and I was overweight…with moobs…and fair skinned. If I wanted to do drag back then that would’ve been the perfect time for me. Once at a Teen Haven Meeting (Christian Youth Group) a kid said that I should be tossed in a jail and get it over with (I guess he saw Holiday Heart before I did) and when I asked why he said “Because you act like a girl” I then said “I don’t act like a girl, I act like Terry Purdue” in the most effeminate manner possible….when I would be called out about being gay I’d get angry, I’d belittle openly gay students and in fact one day I was properly smacked down by one of my classmates. I facebooked her a while ago and told her how much in hindsight I really appreciated that. Of course, I did that to take the heat off of me.

Then one day in August of 2004 that all changed when I had to cash my check and told my family. Now they’re okay with it but I would like to talk to them about it and see what they think now or remember about then. My sister told me that she didn’t like the first guy I brought home but that was a miscellaneous relationship. She liked the next guy I brought home years later though they were kinda close.

But coming out has made me a better man because I don’t hold to the constraints of the society is telling me is a man. I don’t’ think that chesting up on everyone is the definition of a man or being the toughest is necessary, your character reveals you as a man more than your fists do, use them when necessary but be smart enough to know that not all fights can be handled that way. Because I dealt with racism of not being black enough because of using Standard American English or not being white enough because I didn’t listen to all the pop songs on the radio or buy American Eagle I guess, I learned to like people for who they are and connect with them. This I learned before even coming out. That’s probably why I can be around many different kinds of people and still have a good time because I can appreciate them without the artificial labels we have that divide us.

Coming out has made me a whole man, who appreciates the yin and yang, the masculine and feminine about himself. I want to learn how to fix things but I also wouldn’t mind decorating, I don’t mind shopping and I wouldn’t mind watching a football game with the guys—I always say that I’ll adopt my husband’s team if I marry a guy who loves football, I just couldn’t talk shop with them about it. It’s made me appreciate people, and most of all myself. I don’t care if people think I’m less of a man because I’m gay. Being openly gay is not for the faint of heart. It got better because I got stronger and know that if someone has a problem with me because I’m gay, that’s their problem. Instead of wondering what I did to make them think I’m gay, I’m thinking: You gotta sort out the problem with your masculinity and why it’s so frail

Until Next Time!!!