Small Rundown on History and Why Marriage Matters To Me

Hello Everyone

Background
As  an African American, the irony of the black vs. gay debate is not lost on me. I find it funny that one minority would be itching to vote to strip another minority of their civil rights. Is gay marriage a civil right? What is a civil right? Do blacks have a monopoly on civil rights? Apparently not, as all minorities have had to fight for their rights especially through the courts, like Asian Americans in cases like Korematsu v. United States which tested the constitutionality of internment camps for Japanese Americans, another one called Yick Wo v. Hopkins said that a law that's race neutral on it's face but administered in a prejudicial manner is unconstitutional. Hernandez v. Texas,that decided that Mexican Americans are protected under the 14th Amendment of the US Constitution, and we have heard of the numerous cases that forced schools to administer black students most famous being the Little Rock 9, who had to be escorted by US Marshalls

Lead In
We've heard the phrase "Gay is the new Black" What does this mean? that blacks were the ones that society can make fun of, degrade and ridicule and not be contested especially at public gatherings when you don't necessarily have to come up with proof of beliefs that are anti-gay. Most people who believe in anti-gay philosophies or stereotypes won't and are unwilling to get on the stand and defend such views, lest their ignorance come out.

Issue 1: Homosexuality
Gay marriage: First, we have to deal with one thing in particular: homosexuality. Is it a choice? A sin? A reality? Not a choice, is a reality and some believe it's a sin. If it's a choice, as many anti-gay people and those who are opposed on religious and moral grounds believe it is (notice how gays never believe it's a choice) then that means that gay people CHOOSE to be discriminated against, and aren't good role models because they 'choose' to have plenty of sexual partner upwards of 2,000 (ludicrous). I doubt straight people have 2,000 partners over their lifetime (though it would be interesting to see that having happened because there are more straight people out there). If gays are 2-10% of the population, that's just crazy to think of because where would people find these partners? Not only that--but the sheer number has to be made up (even in a place like NYC I believe that is highly improbable) and is something being used to demonize and demean gays for their 'behavior' which of disagreement, they can now make their case to deny equal rights.

Homosexuality and The Law
Sodomy laws were invalidated in 2003 by Lawrence v. Texas, effectively overturning Bowers v. Hardwick. NY overturned theirs via the court in 1980 with New York v. Onofre, KY in 1992 with Wasson v. Kentucky and GA which went through the Georgia Supreme Court overturned theirs in 1996 under Powell v. Georgia (their laws were upheld in 1986 with the Supreme Court case Bowers v. Hardwick)  It is noteworthy that the challenge was brought in regard to HETEROSEXUAL sodomy and thus invalidated homosexual sodomy. OK repealed their sodomy laws for heterosexuals prior to 2003, UT's was invalidated in 1971 but reinstated in 1972.

With the state being able to criminalize sexual behaviors that were consensual between people of the same sex, they could now shame someone into the closet and keep them there. Why? They could lose their jobs, be denied custody of their children especially if they were cohabiting with a same sex spouse, and if you were an openly gay couple, you couldn't adopt because you were a criminal. With the Supreme Court's privacy cases recognizing a fundamental right on the part of consenting adults to form and conduct intimate personal relationships within the protective shelter of the home (Last line from With the Supreme Court to...home provided by http://supreme.lp.findlaw.com/supreme_court/briefs/02-102/02-102.mer.ami.aclu.pdf). The question now dealt with two people of the same gender. The Supreme Court ruled on it in in 1986 (Bowers) and then 17 years later in 2003 it was overturned, so now the sodomy laws couldn't be used against gays and lesbians branding them as criminals for engaging in the private act of sexual gratification. The attorney for the state of Texas in Lawrence was asked if adultery is a crime in TX, the man replied: It's not against the law but we don't condone it.

Kentucky Supreme Court when striking down it’s sodomy laws said: In the final analysis we can attribute no legislative purpose to this statute except to single out homosexuals for different treatment for indulging their sexual preference by engaging in the same activity heterosexuals are now at liberty to perform. . . . We need not sympathize, agree with, or even understand the sexual preference of homosexuals in order to recognize their right to equal treatment before the bar of criminal justice

Justice Antonin Scalia said that striking down of sodomy laws is: the end of morals legislation and that this can now lead the way for marriage rights, in the same year Massachusetts became the first American state to allow same sex marriages, followed by Connecticut in 2008, VT lead the nation in recognizing same sex unions with civil unions and marriage in 2009 along with Iowa and DC.


Now that sodomy laws were off the books in all the nation's states, mini DOMAs were ratified in 11 states in 2004 and at least 15 others in 2006, in 2008 Prop 8 was the one that set off an already existing controversy and now it is in the CA Supreme Court regarding the standing of the plaintiffs

Homosexuality and Marriage
With the uprising at Stonewall, gays were happy that police didn't regulate day to day life for homosexuals, grassroots organizations sprang up like crab grass and demanded the nation address their plight. In 1977, Anita Bryant with the Save Our Children campaign repealed a gay rights ordinance and then an adoption ban on gays, but allowing them to foster children. The Briggs Initiative, known as Prop 6 (1978) would allow teachers to be fired for supporting gay rights and causes. In Oregon Ballot Number 9 (1992) would add to the state Constitution: All governments in Oregon may not use their monies or properties to promote, encourage or facilitate homosexuality, peodphilia, sadism or masochism. All levels of government, including public education systems must  assist in setting a standard for Oregon's youth which recognizes these behaviors as abnormal, unnatural and perverse and they are to be discouraged and avoided.

A fierce battle ensued as the vote came and then---REJECTED! The fact was simply this: As the progression of gay rights etched forward, there was a huge backlash as we're seeing in IA with House Joint Resolution 6. Gronstal the leader of the Senate, said he won't bring this bill for a vote--the bill would void marriages, civil unions and domestic partnerships.  Many who were for the ban which would have the Legislature put the ? out to the people who said: Two men can't make a baby, and neither can two women, so their marriages can't be treated the same--it's always funny how children only come up when gay people want to get married. Many straight couples have decided to have childless marriages and they are still legally valid. Also, let us mention the fact that many same sex couples are having children--and they turned out fine.

This is a civil rights issue since marriage has always been in the civic sphere and we have to also point out: A church wedding isn't legally valid unless they have a state issued license. If a couple marries at a church without a marriage license, the government won't recognize that marriage because it wasn't done in accordance with the state law

New York State
I've written about NYS and marriage a few times and I keep coming back to the fact of: If this marriage bill passes, it's gonna be 'about damn time' and if not, the gay community all over NYS is going to go apeshit! It's about time because we need to protect all NYkers and we need the protections of the state institution of marriage. We need to make sure that no one will have to be treated like a legal stranger who has been with someone for the last 20 years of their lives. This is a matter of protection and not one of right or wrong--morality while it does serve a place in law, is not to be relied upon solely when dealing with legislation. It is to serve a government interest and be narrowly tailored to protect that interest. We have a Governor who is set on making marriage equality a reality and we can't wait for this to be done and over with, so we can move on to other issues that plague us. Like Al Sharpton said: It's not about who you go to bed with, but if you have a job when you get up!

Significance To Me
As I've always wanted to be a Husband and Father, I always dreamed of having kids, at least six. However, adoption is expensive so adopting siblings all at once seems to be the best option for me.  It was a real crazy little thing coming to the conclusion that I loved my boyfriend, but once I did, it was inevitable that I wanted him and wanted to be with him. For me, he was the guy I'd been dreaming of meeting, smart, wonderful sense of humor, can hold a conversation and can explain things to me on a higher level, we can cook together and have a great time, we enjoy each other's company and I know he'd be a good Dad. I know I would be a great Dad too.


Family means a lot to me, and when the Family Council people tell me that I'm anti family, I cringe because nothing means more to me than family. This is a leftover trick used from the days that gays wanted nothing to do with family and 'imitating straight people' although marriage wasn't on the radar in the baby gay movement, as the movement came of age, it is doing and does all that those who come of age do--grow up, mature, settle down, have kids, buy a house, and make a wonderful life together--mini DOMAs will fade into the past and so will DOMA...Marriage matters to me because I am not 3/5 of a person, but a whole person entitled to equal protection under the law like anyone else.


Love You All
Until The Pen Strikes Again

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