A Little Talk With A Friend

Hello Dear Spencer Hamilton Blog Reader…and new visitors

So this past weekend I decided to help two lovely women the Lambert-Rudds a lesbian couple whom I affectionately call “The Grandmas” put a roof on their house and it was great. I met so many wonderful people and saw a man named Vince in action. He’s a great taskmaster he knows what he’s doing and it helped that son in law Tom was there too and his know how as well as many others who were able to help us. I have to admit I know little to nothing about roofing and I’m not willing to climb up there, but I must admit a few things were conquered that day. After a bunch of denailing some of the boards I went between a space did some on the roof. I was nervous up there and as I’m a tall guy my center of gravity is a little higher so I made sure I did my best to stay safe. It was a wonderful experience seeing the work being done by all of us—some of whom hadn’t gotten there til about noonish and seeing an old friend Andy in town that weekend, whom I was surprised to see, go headlong into it. It’s not because he’s a feminine gay guy or partly, but because he’s Andy I’d never seen him do anything like that before so it was quite a cool shock

I also saw my sister from across the pond as I like to call her Christina and her wonderful boyfriend Ethan whom I’ve known for some years and is a great friend to all of us. They both are trans which I guess can be a great common frame of reference because that’s something doesn’t have to be explained. They are two wonderful people I’m glad found each other.  So, it’s probably about 3 or 4 on Saturday and we’re looking around for some more hammers so we can do something, I forget. So we go downstairs and we had a small conversation that was really impactful.

See, I’d gotten out of a relationship that was very emotionally abusive. I thought I’d spend my life with this guy and grow old, have kids but always in the back of my mind thought that he’d better get his stuff together if we’re ever going to adopt children. I want to have 3 kids, 2 boys and a girl and if I can adopt siblings I want to do that and keep them together.  I wanted to propose to him and walk down the aisle with him to give him my last name and what happens? We break up…or HE does.

So, I get a little cynical…okay…a lot. I became a different person who wanted to make sure he doesn’t hurt again. Yes, I’m a big guy but in my heart of hearts I’m a little boy who wants people to see him and yes…even applaud…Is that a crime?

So when he said to me that I became a different person, I had to acknowledge it because I did. I just needed some time to come back to myself and go through my storm. I’m glad he said this to me because I could actually show how much I moved on by acknowledging it. It was something that I needed to do to say: Yeah, I know and I have to learn from it so I’m not so jaded from the next break up. However, I handle it this way, all my relationships will break up until one doesn’t. Silly little thing called love huh?

Until next time my darlings!