Spine Chilling Review: Tales from the Hood (1995)

                                                    

                                        

When I first heard of this film, I thought it was a ripoff from EC Comics' Tales from the Crypt. In time, and after seeing it as an adult many years later I have come to see this film as a social commentary using the medium of horror. In horror films, black people usually die first and while black people may love horror films, they don't love us back. That's I guess why even though The Wiz (1978) was an objective failure, I will always cherish it as I feel it belongs "to us" to blackness in America


I'm going to go story by story and introduce the title and cast when I introduce the individual story as not to confuse my audience. I will also be reviewing the story as a whole at the end of the segments

Tales from the Hood is a 1995 film written by Rusty Cundieff and Darin Scott, Directed by Rusty Cundieff (he has a role in the film as well) 

Welcome to My Mortuary (The Beginning) 

Clarence Williams III as The Funeral Director Mr. Simms 

From Left to Right 

Joe Torry as Stack, known for his portrayal as Chicago in Poetic Justice

De'Aundre Bonds as Ball, he is known for his role in Lockdown and portrayed Stacey in The Wood 

Samuel Monroe Jr as Bulldog. He was one of the main shooters in the film Menace II Society at the end.

Prologue: 

The trio of gang members arrive at Simms' Funeral Home to buy some drugs the Simms found in the alley and has tucked away there. The trio wants to get "the shit" and go. Apparently, they are really patient because they go through an hour and some change in order to get the drugs. Listen, I like a good story as well as anyone but can you just send me the link? Oh right, it's 1995. I guess Mr Simms doesn't get a lot of visitors because he says he's been waiting for them. With a now captive audience he can tell his newfound friends about his most recent customers. First one is Clarence 

Rogue Cop Revelation 

Anthony Griffith as Clarence Smith 

Michael Massee as Newton 

Tom Wright as Martin Moorehouse...Moorehouse College in ATL

Wings Hauser as Strom...as in Thurmond and Duane Whitaker as Billy L to R 

Apparently corrupt cops don't like being exposed so they pull over Martin Moorehouse in a nice neighborhood for no reason, later bashing out his tail light. The corrupt cops (Billy and Strom) are more pissed at the exposure of corruptio  than the corruption iself and beat Moorehouse to a bloody pulp when Moorehouse defends himself. Clarence tells the Strom and Billy to take Moorehouse to the hospital and is understandably pissed because they're beating someone important to his community




After beating him up some more, Strom inject him with heroin (at least he's not in too much pain) and throw some cocaine in his trunk before shoving Moorehouses's car off the dock. I guess they hadn't planned on going to the hospital after all when Newton says "You know what you have to do"  Clarence wants to report them for what they did but Newton cautions him not to cross the blue line

One year later, Clarence unlike killer cops actually has a conscience. He also has a love affair with the bottle. Passing a mural of Moorehouse he is chosen to bring the killers to him. Smith is like "Come on, we're gonna have a celebration of the anniversary you killed a good man...let's not act like that's never happened before or I'd be celebrating all year long. The least we can do is pay our respects"

  

Once at the cemetery with the result of the murder they committed staring them in the face they insult Moorehouse post mortem and to add more disrespect; show how much of a racist POS he is Strom Thurmond pees on the grave. Last time I heard about body fluids on a grave it didn't end up well for the bodily fluid's owners. Newton and Strom want to get rid of Clarance as Billy goes to pee on the grave. Moorehouse ain't gonna get R Kelly'd again and grabs Billy by the man's genitals--wait, did this predict the Access Hollywood tape? Billy will not be joining us, and here's why. Tin man! I found a heart for you!

Strom and Newton book it out of there and think they can outrun their conscience in a car, Strom has his head taken off with Moorehouse's help

Newton is having none of that, gets out of there and shoots the gas tank turning the car into a Boomer. Now in an alley Moorehouse takes a page from Carrie and shoots needles into Newton's body and turns him into a wall mural where Moorehouse used to be. Must have felt good to get off that cross

 


With Newton dispatched, Moorehouse turns to Smith and says "Where were you when I needed you?" That's a question I have for all the "good cops" out there.


If you want to see how the PD treats good cops, here is the story of Cariol Horne getting fired for preventing a murder of an unarmed black suspect.

 

After all is said and done Clarence has  gone crazy and was convicted of killing three cops




Goofs: They don't have any of the bodies of Billy or Newton, so how could the three counts of murder be upheld? Wouldn't security cameras show what happened? Or evidence and eyewitnesses show that Clarence was nowhere near the scene when Strom's head popped off? Further, Billy's body might still be in the grave and Newton would've simply disappeared. So there could be a circumstantial case against ONE of the murders. Yet his story would be not guilty by reason of insanity most likely but let's not get bogged down with that 


FINAL THOUGHTS: The corrupt status quo will always move to protect itself and this definitely shows a terrible reality that is all too ordinary for black and brown people living in cities. It's a great tale of revenge regarding people that think they're above the law because they enforce it. I think it would've been a better ending to have Strom be in the painting since he was the one that shot up Moorehouse with the needles but not melted into the painting. I felt like Strom's death was too clean, he deserved the more gruesome death

Boys Do Get Bruised (I call it "Monster") 

Rusty Cundeiff as Richard Garvey, he is the Writer/Director of the film. His last name is a nod to Marcus Garvey, a famous pan African icon that grew up in Jamaica 

Brandon Hammond as Walter Johnson. He is best known for his role as Ahmad in the classic film, Soul Food

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Paula Jai Parker as Sissy, you might know as the voice of Trudy Proud from the Proud Family

David Alan Grier as Carl, he's best known from In Living Color and as one half of the duo from Men on Film In Living Color



Our story starts in a classroom with a new student named Walter having bruises around his cheek and his eye, but it's not from the fight he was just in with Tyrone. Mr Garvey's wondering what's up the only explanation he gets is  "A monster. It came after my Dad died and lives in the house"

 

The next scene shows the monster howling and Walter terrified that the monster will come through his door. We get a glimpse of the monster, but only his hand



When he shows up with a bruised arm he maintains his story. Instead of going to recess one day Walter draws things that scare him citing a story from a friend's Mom. He says that when you burn it they will go away

As Walter drew one of his bullies Tyrone and crumpled him up, he falls down the stairs and breaks both his arms and legs. The teacher says Tyrone just collapsed and is perplexed at the damage to his arms and legs suggesting the boy has brittle bones. I don't think brittle bones are to blame. With the hypothesis having been tested and the experiment a success, Walter now sees how he must kill the monster as he promised to do prior

That night, Richard goes to talk to Walter's Mom Sissy the mention of monsters sends her to scold him in front of Richard. When Carl returns and Sissy tries to shoo him out the door but Richard insists on having a conversation with Carl his simple reply is: "I'll talk to my son"





After Richard leaves, Carl goes on a rampage and we find out that he has a monster tattoo on his right forearm Richard hears the scuffle outside. and rushes back in to fight Carl who beats him and Sissy. That allows Walter to get the piece of paper and fold it until Carl is in a mess on the floor. Richard tells Walter "You know what to do" and burns it, freeing them of Carl's tyranny




Seeing David Alan Grier play such a serious role was very jarring to me as I had only seen him in comedies before and since. This one does something different, giving mystery to something that unfortunately is common. The neighbors know about it and men seem to have a cavalier attitude about "keeping their women in check" The tension is very well done and the tone is spot on. I'm not very surprised when the monster is revealed but I am also shocked at the viciousness of his attacks. Maybe in part because it is David Alan Grier but frankly, it's jarring to see it even acted out like this. 


After questioning if that's really how Carl got killed (some versions show Walter in the casket) they slam the casket and a doll falls down. Mr Simms explains "When a person's body has been through a lot, it's soul can be misplaced, this doll is a place for the soul to survive until it can move on" This takes us into our next tale



KKK Comeuppance

Corbin Bernsen as Duke Metger, based on David Duke, Famous racist that ran unsuccessfully for Louisiana Governor



Roger Guenveur Smith as Rhodie. A Strategist and Image Consultant. Known for his role as Eddie in Deep Cover



Art Evans as Eli. He plays our chorus, played an important role in The Film Die Hard II



Featuring an appearance by Christine Cundieff the Director's Mother as Miss Cobb



When A racist former Klansman is Candidate for Governor of Louisiana Duke Metger sets up his campaign HQ in a former plantation house he has a great view of Black and Jewish protest groups outside. Eli played by Art Evans says that the plantation is haunted by the souls of tortured slaves killed by their former master when they wanted to leave the plantation. Rhodie played by Roger Guenveur Smith notices the painting of Miss Cobbs and the dolls, and Metger is just meh and he doesn't believe the lore about the murdered slaves being housed in the dolls. One of them however we catch a glimpse of under the floorboards as Rhodie laves.

One night when Rhodie is trying to soften Metger's image in the media, Rhodie falls down the stairs to his death. Eli then warns Metger to leave the house before he ends up like his assistant. On the way home from Rhodie's funeral, Metger notices a doll from the painting in the limo and asks his driver to pull over so he can yeet it out the window.

 

Upon reviewing the tape of Rhodie's last moments Metger finds the doll he threw out of the limo was there. Right after that he notices that the doll in the painting that bears a strange resemblance to the one he threw out the limo earlier is missing in the painting. That's not all folks because a doll's POV shot shows us that the doll has amazing sense of direction as he finds his way to the porch. He calls someone on the phone and seconds later there's a knock on the door and Metger thinks it's Ruth or Ginny, until he hears pitter patter of little feet and assumes it's the doll.

When Metger turns around he is confronted by a hungry doll. He is able to stop its attack by beating it with the American Flag, then rants and hits the painting in the mouth causing it to bleed. After playing some target practice, he goes by the painting to notice more shadows where dolls once were painted. Mouth agape, he looks to see the same doll he blew to pieces on a dartboard put his head on like it was a minor inconvenience to him. He lunges at Metger bumping against the door as Metger locked the door from inside the office

Once inside, all of the dolls have faded to white and shown up en force. Metger covers himself in the American flag as the dolls come to get themselves a piece of white racist. "I want the ear" "Save the nose for me!" Miss Cobbs appears in her rocking chair as the dolls take their sweet revenge

This one makes me wish this happened to every white man in a lynch mob that's ever happened in this country, and every policeman that's shot an unarmed black and brown person. Racism is as American as apple pie and it will kill us if we don't look at our history with clear eyes and an objective heart. The last thing I'll note is how there are two things tied to American oppression in there: Guns and the US Flag 


Hard-Core Convert

Lamont Bentley as Crazy K












Rosalind Cash as Dr Cushing



Rick Dean as White Supremacist


Our trio is a little short tempered now and wants "the shit" But Simms has to pull out one more stop for our guys. He opens a casket and asks them if they know the man. The trio says he's seen him around the neighborhood. The story of Crazy K

This is the tale I feel is most impactful, and preachy yet a great high note to go out on as it is our last tale.

Jerome Johns is played by Lamont Bentley known to me best as Hakim from Moesha. He is like O Dog form Menace II Society in the fact that he will kill anyone without a second thought. He notices an enemy at a stoplight that he's been wanting to find and shoots at him when the man parks. Hearing the shots, three figures from a nearby house shoot Crazy K, they don't kill him yet as the police arrive. However, as the men have shot at police they are shot and killed immediately "Damn! Saved by the mothafuckin cops. Damn!" Crazy K yells as he passes out



We pick up where we find out he has three life sentences on suspicion of murder and a host of other charges. He is approved for a treatment and transferred to another facility. His cell is next to a white supremacist that longs for the Apocalypse end of days that results in a white ethnostate. Don't worry though, if you think like us you'll be spared. Crazy K punches White Supremacist in the face, who eats the punch like breakfast before asking what race the men were he killed

  

Following that, Crazy K complains about being put next to him and Dr Cushing says she did it purposefully since they think alike. She's lets him in on the fact that the government has hired her to administer a rehabilitation process on Crazy K in hopes that he will finally change.

 

Before being put through treatment though, the K in his hair is shaved before being spun on a table and forced to sit through a slideshow of images of lynchings and bloody gang violence. "The first murderer was Cain, he killed his brother AND HOW MANY BROTHAS HAVE YOU KILLED?!"

 



The next of his treatment takes us to sensory deprivation followed by facing all of the souls of the victims he's killed in a strobe lit room. One is an innocent girl, another was what is hinted at as mistaken identity and lastly a friend that was coming up short on his drug count. When Crazy K is unrepentant and is released from his bounds Dr Cushing warns him that he will not get another chance at forgiveness. He then takes an orderly captive as Dr Cushing tearfully urges him to reconsider.




He continues to say that everything else is at fault for how he is and that he doesn't care about the people he's killed because they would've killed him had they been given the chance. Continually saying "I don't give a fuck" he is sent back to where he is brutally murdered by the three gunmen


What was interesting about this one is that Tales didn't only address police brutality but black on black brutality. You truly are left with the impact of Crazy K's decisions as well as knowing that there are people like this you may know. I like the title as well because Crazy K is hardened inside and one can say he's already dead before his heart physically stopped. 

Goofs: 

How the Hell did all those police cars show up in the beginning of the story? Do they stealth lights so those pursuing them can't hear them? Also, Dr 

Having been revealed as the murderers of Crazy K, the Stack threatens Simms and tells him he'll be killed unless he tells them how he knows this and to give them their shit. He leads them to three caskets and asks "WHERE ELSE WOULD I HAVE HIDDEN IT?!"

Upon opening the caskets each find their own bodies in the caskets and Simms reveals that they are all dead, not shot by police as we first thought but having gotten away later to be killed by Crazy K's boys. In the now famous monologue "THIS AIN'T NO FUNERAL HOME! IT AIN'T THE TERRORDOME NEITHER! WELCOME.....TO HELL MOTHERFUCKKKEERRRRSSSS!" As Simms transforms into Satan and the terrified trio are hit with the revelation that they are in hell. Fire consumes their surroundings while our trio fights the fire in eternal damnation

Goofs:
In the beginning of the clip, we saw that our trio was killed by the cops, then they were revealed to be killed by Crazy K's boys at the end. What time machine does Dr Cusing have that could transport him back to the same moment with no cops nearby? How did they get that person not to call the cops upon hearing that first shot Crazy K popped off? Dr Cushing said that he would rot in solitary for the rest of his natural life if he failed to be rehabilitated so why did she send him back to the street to get shot up and killed by the trio? What prompted the decision? Did she just say fuck this shit he's never gonna change?  

Likes: 
The storytelling

Our funeral director is so memorable from his first appearance as a jump scare making one of our trio hit his head. Even the ice tray Clarence Williams III  uses is pretty old school (1995) when most of them are made in one piece and are mostly made of plastic. Subtle touches like that as well as how he talks "You'll be knee-deep in the shit" he really sells the role. The transformation at the end while making sense it is not out of the realm of disbelief given all that we've seen from the previous stories.



The Why Factor: In many anthologies, there are just a few short flicks thrown in under one banner and you can't tell why they are there. He is the reason and the drugs are why our trio is even in there in the first place.

Dislikes: 

In Crazy K's tale it is meant to shock us juxtaposing the violent lynchings alongside gang warfare often present in cities. The flashes are overwhelming and the strobe light scene in the sensory deprivation tank can trigger seizures. It is a great scene and all but that is the only part I have a huge problem with. While it is easier to get people in and out of the scene effectively it went on a bit long and really made me feel like I was going to need to go to a lit room and let my eyes adjust after watching this scene

That's the main dislike I have of the film so it's doing pretty well

EPILOGUE 

Tales from the Hood is a great film, a great anthology using social commentary and horror together. I like the practical effects they use because it tends to hold up better than CGI. The acting, storytelling, and pace is all met pretty well. Most people may have thought it was a Tales from the Crypt ripoff, but that is not the case. It stands on its own 

I recommend this highly and hold this up as a way to craft a horror anthology that has a sensible explanation 

My rating is 5 Mr Simms Morticians out of 5 Mr Simms Satans