Conservative Family Values: All Fantasy, No Facts A Few Reasons
Social conservatism has been nothing more than "Keep it the same because change is scary" Black men voting, women voting, Civil Rights for Black People, Mexicans being covered under the 14th Amendment, School integration, Same sex couples being married, no fault divorce, restaurants!
So let me get to the reasons Conservative Family Values are All Fantasy, No Facts
1. It is a myth based on TV
I enjoy retro TV, Happy Days, Laverne and Shirley, Andy Griffith, The Waltons, SOAP, but do we realize a few things...the casts are all white. There are no problems other than something many people relate to like going to a dance alone or in the case of the Waltons, they're dirt poor in the middle of the Depression. But the formula is: Married parents, kids and they always find a way to pull through with good ole American elbow grease.
The myth of the American meritocracy persists even today with people thinking that if they can think their way out of poverty with hard work. Hard work is part of it, but opportunity and skill development is part of it.
But let's forget all of that and say what all the rearview mirror riders say: It was bad, but not anywhere it is NOW! It is a throwback that refuses to acknowledge the race riots, oppression of minorities and gays, drug war nonsense, the tumultuous 60s where people outside of WASPs began asserting their humanity
It is a myth of conformity that leaves out the fact that there was still segregation, and now de facto segregation based on money. It leaves out the fact that women in order to divorce had to prove the husband was crazy as opposed to breaking it off and going your merry way. Let's not forget that interracial marriages were prohibited in many states until 1967, lynchings and firebombings were happening to Civil Rights leaders. Medgar Evers was killed as he returned home. But let's ignore this to reminisce about "The Good Ole Days" In other words, lack of problems and black people
People longing for those times, forget that THEY'RE NOT REAL!
2. Families have different structures
Family has never always been one man one woman and children. When we watch any show on TV, we see that it is a community of neighbors, extended family, and for some even church family. People become family through time and sometimes shared circumstance. Friends become family and raise their children together. Families will add and take chairs away from the table because of death or distance. Either way, defining family as only blood relations refuses to see our tendency as social creatures to form our own bonds and families
In the TV show Pose, we see families that are bound by their families' rejection over them being queer. Set against the ballroom scene, different houses I.E. Evangelista, Wintour, and Abundance would "walk" categories and win trophies. Hardly any of the families there are biologically related.
The narrow view of the nuclear family ignores that men left women with children even back in the 50s, it also ignores the fact that single Mothers have existed for many reasons, death or desertion being the main reasons. Mildred Pierce 1945 drama shows Mildred picking up her life after her husband leaves her for another woman. So...in a word, it's revisionist.
3. It ignores economic realities
As the 70s wore on, women entered the workplace and it became acceptable to be more than just a teacher or a nurse. I mean, Hidden Figures takes place in 1962 and women in the workplace had been happening since WWII when the men went off to war. A lot of economic factors contributed like inflation to women entering the workplace and it seemed that what needed to happen was another income. Women were awakened to the fact that they didn't need a man to sustain themselves, I am generalizing but it took a long time for women to be legally an entity of their own as it took until the 70s for women to own property in their own names and not be subject to their husband's whims when making decisions over their own lives.
4. Marriage is an automatic win
According to conservatives, they will tell you that there are a multitude of studies that show that married couples tend to raise more successful children compared to those raised by single parents. Okay, let's take that assertion on its face: Are they similarly situated as far as education or socioeconomic level? Also, two people making more money would be good for their household, but do they have the same children? Also, what studies are these that say two parent families are more successful? There are other factors as well to consider but also this is another question I have: What is the definition of success? It often varies from person to person so saying married parents generally have successful children may be true, but not entirely
Being married alone isn't generally a get out of poverty free card
5. They're the biggest losers
I don't mean the weight loss show, I mean that since their philosophy is not amenable to changing times it doesn't age well. One example is 1972 Baker v Nelson, a summary dismissal of a gay marriage case for want of federal question. After Romer v Evans in 1996 said that laws should be overturned that made queer + communities strangers to the law, and the Lawrence case that said that same sex sexual activity in private is a right of privacy...see notice that there were no new rights created, it was simply: Does the right of privacy extend to same sex sexual activity? The court said yes. This substantially weakened any argument that relied on Baker v Nelson
Baker wasn't exactly precedent and is a slender reed upon which to base any arguments. Conservative lawyers entire arguments hinged on Baker v Nelson, which Judges came back saying "But what about the Romer and Lawrence case?" and they had to back away because those cases were in fact precedent which one could argue easily in the Supreme Court.
Whether it was LGBTQ+ couples marrying, interracial couples marrying (which is primarily acceptable now and even conservative lawyers will defend it in Court as being different from LGBTQ couples) mail in voting, Civil Rights, Womens' Suffrage, Fair Housing Laws, you name a progressive policy conservatives have opposed it.
Conservatism never takes into account the changes in society and because of that even if it blossoms for 10, 20 or more years, it has to give way to new developments as we learn about people and their fight for greater freedom. In many cases, dissents have become opinions in cases that were wrongly decided. The tide always turns against conservatism, the hands of the clock stop for no one.
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